life comes and goes..

I was so excited tonight, a very good friend of mine is pregnant, someone that has such a huge amount of love to give and who has had many obstacles to face in her life that i feel completely overwhelmed with happiness with for her and this new life growing in her tummy. Unfortunately as I was going to turn off my computer I received another message that my best friends step dad has died in a tragic accident...this has completely thrown me, its someone i've known since I was young, someone that helped us all in someway to grow up, someone who will be very very missed.
Life is created life is taken away...Its a happiness and a sadness...there's nothing more to say about that..

I know I never write but...

Its not that I don't read others and have outstandingly interesting thoughts that you would benefit from greatly if I did write...

I just seriously don't have the time these days, between teaching, prep, marking (what a bitch that is) kids...illness, boyf/hubby/partner (thats all the same person depending on who's asking) I rarely have any time to do anything other than swill a quick half a bottle of red down my neck and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

But yes I thought I would, as I should - for my own history as much as anything else...

So Stats...
M - recovering from chicken Pox and now has Gastro...so is off school which she is very sad about much to my happiness as those first few weeks of school were very hard, it is never easy to see your baby crying and frightened. Other than that she has big curly locks these days, lots of singing and talking in both languages she makes me translate french songs into english...
For example....I find myself at bath time singing...the little fish in the water swimming swimming swimming swimming swimmming...the little fish in the water swimming aswell as the big one (le petit poisson dans l'eau)
A - is walking, running, spinning, climbing falling...Also on the verge of chicken pox...he's very good at communicating knows a few signs and also a few words...dou dou..papa..mama...tilda(sometimes daddy)...no..yeh...hiya...au revoir...and recently caca (when he's actually done a poo).....oh and nana
Me - bedraggled, exhusted, greying, but thinner :-) learning alot about the work life balance, feel massive guilt but satisfaction, but frustration...
Work - some good, some bad some indifferent...but making new friends which is nice...
Boyf/hubby/partner/pacs associate - hardworking, lovely, unstressed...calm...thank god for him!!

So thats the update....I will repeat the mantra - write more often write more often write more often...we'll see
Oh and French Xfactor ...LAME AS.....

back to work

I should at this point be compiling lesson plans as its back to school for me! Yes the chiddlers are growing and its now time for me to get back in the working world and earn me some dosh
It is nice, I felt like a person again the other day not just a mother - I felt that I had something to contribute other than a large array of nursery rymes! I also get to wear heels and choose clothes other than the things that I dont mind my kids drooling snotting all over (I have to do a quick change when I leave the house!)
Nearly summer and you've gotta love how france pretty much closes down in july/aug - my boyf 'has' to take three weeks off - BLISS
Back to blighty for abit to - check in with all those lovely people that I miss so much and rarely see.
The boy is nearly walking now - and is 1! CRAZY - he has such a lovely smile - so scrummy
and little m - is starting to potty train - yikes! She's doing brilliantly with her two languages - she said when we were at the doctors 'mummy's speaking french - its funny' - hmmm cheers for the confidence boost!

things to remember...

Just so I dont forget - when she's an evil teen!

great things about my daughter

how she shows every single person she meets her chaussures (shoes)
how she says hiya in a broad west country accent
how she natters on the "phone" (remote control/calculator/shoe)
how concentrated she looks when she draws
how she congratulates me after my shower with a bravo from her bed where she's reading
how she kisses herself better usually falling over in the process
how she always wants to see her little bro first thing in the morning
how she plays hide and seek under her blanket with her animals - alone in bed
how she giggles
how she goes gooey with a big grin when she watches her favorate cartoons
how she calls me mummy

Hard graft...

So my new little boy is two months today!! and what a two months its been.

I know everyone has different ways of parenting - different philosophys of nature/nuture etc..
For me basically I believe you should start as you mean to go on...why let them sleep in your arms/in your bed - if your not going to be happy doing that a few months down the line....surely thats more traumatic for a child??
If your happy to be awake or feed on demand day and night then you can't change your mind after you've been doing it for six months...
I am a really bad sleeper and so its important for me to be able to get some sleep and I truely believe a well rested baby is a happy baby - and a clever one...don't we grow all our brain cells while we sleep...???
I believe habits are formed and can be taught - if you put a baby to bed at the same time everyday then they will learn that thats bedtime - likewise if i put myself down for an afternoon siesta at the same time every day for two weeks, it would become part of my routine and part of my life..

So yeah I forgot how bloody hard work teaching a newborn these tricks are. I forgot how at the beginning you spend your whole time waking them up so they know its daytime only then to spend the next two hours trying to get them to go to sleep, taking too long that in the end they are hungry again, but not wanting them to fall asleep on the breast -waking them again, the whole saga only continues....I would NEVER let my child cry themselves to sleep (ie more than 5 mins on their own) but i'll stay there and sing and pat and talk - but once they're calm I walk away out of sight - then i'll let them try and figure it out for five - if not i'll go back......this has been very tricky with a toddler and for the first 3 weeks we used a dummy to try and cut back on the crying time and the impact it was having on her...but now...

now (mostly - sometimes something will happen to interrupt the process) but now i'll put him down, he'll cry for a couple of minutes then calm down and start listening to his music box. i'll leave, about 5/10 mins later he'll cry for approx 3/5mins then he'll settle himself and go to sleep and the last 3 nights he's slept from 8-6.30am (with a dream feed at 11)

i'm not writing this to be bigging up myself as like supermum or anything - but just to say well done to myself, because the amount of tears (by me, her, him) the amount of doubt...is he hungry, is he tired....the amount of guilt shit he was really hungry, or frustration damn he was over tired has made these last two months VERY VERY hard....but now the fruits of our labour are showing and I have to say i'm quite proud....

Of course he'll wake like every two hours tonight....i'll blame a growth spurt....or as my darling boyf would say as gross burp - love the lost in translation!!